Stop Listening to ‘Old Tapes’ + Worksheet
Why are we so hard on ourselves? No, seriously. I mean harder than 99 percent of the people in our lives. We are our own worst critic, and at times, worst enemy. As people, we’ve developed what I like to call “old tapes” that keep playing and playing over and over until we start to believe the tapes and find some kernel of truth.
These tapes are hard to stop listening to, especially if you struggle your mental health. In those serious cases, speaking to a health professional (your doctor and/or a therapist) is critical.
If you find yourself stuck or feel like you create momentum and then fall into old unproductive habits, I’ve created an exercise to help you hone in on where you’re getting stuck, so you can target that specific old tape. Then, I’ll ask you to create a new tape – a new story you can listen to on repeat so you begin to really hear, see and feel all the goodness you have and know it as truth!
There are four ways in which the old tapes show up: limiting beliefs, assumptions, interpretation and inner critic. Below are very simplified examples but you’ll get the point. Let’s quickly review these before we create new tapes.
Limiting Beliefs
These are general beliefs about the world, environment, specific situation, and people around us. Here are some examples: “If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.” or “I have to prove myself constantly to be taken seriously.” or “If I show uncertainty, I’ll lose credibility.”
A great way to counter this is to get curious. Ask yourself “How true is that - really?” and break it down a bit into bite-size pieces. Why is that something I believe? What do I need to do to believe otherwise? When we don’t believe something is possible, we aren’t likely to try going after something we want.
Assumptions
Something we hold to be true without evidence or proof. Here’s an example: “Everyone else is moving faster than me.” or “If I’m not visibly producing, I’m not respected.” or “Admitting “I don’t know” weakens trust.”
Examine how this is personally affecting your ability to move forward. Is there a connection? Assumptions are often more personal and inwardly focused than limiting beliefs.
Interpretation
A translation of an event that is filtered through our own experiences and perceptions. Here’s an example: You see colleagues getting promoted, speaking up in meetings, or taking on visible projects. Your interpretation is “Everyone else is moving faster than me.”
Perspective is a great tool to pull in here. “What’s another way to look at that?” Looking at things from a different perspective helps you get un-stuck and open your eyes to another view. There can be many interpretations of a singular event.
Inner Critic
An inner voice that derails us by urging us to play it safe, play small and avoid risks. Here’s an example: “I’ll never be good enough to get promoted. No point in trying.”
I challenge you to notice the voice of the inner critic, what it’s saying and when. Once you slow down to notice it, you can start to turn it off or at least turn down the volume instead of believing it. The inner critic’s ultimate message is “I am not good enough”.
Rewriting tapes to unlock your true potential
All of the examples above can stop us in our tracks. Daily. I challenge you to write a new story today. Write it for yourself so you can begin to live into the life what you want. Otherwise, these old tapes will run and get in the way of what you are really capable of. Here’s an exercise to help you begin:
Write your new story. This story has three parts. Your old tape, what is impacted by listening to those tapes, and your future without the tapes. What’s possible? What’s your dream without limiting yourself to some critical voice in your head. Answer these questions/prompts:
Which of the four areas (Limiting beliefs, Assumptions, Interpretations, Inner critic?) above really resonates with me?
My old tape is saying:
If I keep listening to these tapes, what will happen?
When I stop listening to these tapes, I envision myself:
I no longer listen to that tape. How has my life changed (write the future 1-3 years)?
Keep these answers somewhere you can re-visit. This is a useful tool to reflect on if you find yourself slipping back into old habits (and playing old tapes).
Listen to someone else. Find a podcast, a book or an article that grabs you, and you just can’t get enough. This helps me get in a different mindset and switch my perspective when I feel stuck.
What book or PodCast are you going to start this week?
Why are you interested in this author or topics?
How do you think it will make a difference in silencing your “old tapes”?
Go easy on yourself. We would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves once the old tapes get going. We are so hard on ourselves, and it’s not helpful. Take care of yourself: get some rest, exercise, eat well, surround yourself with people that will lift you up and not drag you down. Put one foot in front of the other to get you to your next step – it’s no bigger than that.
What is the one thing you can do to take care of yourself as you write your new story?
Why is this important to you?
What impact will it make today and in your future?
Does any of this resonate? Let me know at hello@jenniereis.com or reach out for 1:1 coaching.
