In Your Groove vs On the Hamster Wheel

Worksheet

Oct 1

“I worked at Target and Amazon.”

When I tell people that, they usually say with a big smile “wow, those are great companies, and you have great experience. Good for you!”

And yet there were only a few years at both of those companies when I felt completely in my groove.

You know, that feeling when work and life just click. You’re energized by the work you’re doing, the people you work with, and you feel like you’re in your groove. And it lives in perfect harmony with your life outside of work. It’s similar to that that feeling you get when you’re driving with the windows down, singing your favorite song at the top of your lungs.

The other side of not being in my groove was complete exhaustion, minimal motivation, lack of drive and commitment, and in general, feeling like a robot. Life and work were not clicking, and it felt impossible to get off the “hamster wheel”.

When I reflect on the times I was in my groove, it had a lot to do with my leaders. They cared. They listened. They helped. They let me run with my work, and take on more things outside of the scope of my role. When I felt like I was “failing” (which is such a big word for something I wasn’t actually doing), it was full of learning and growth. I felt so comfortable going to them for anything—that’s the key ingredient.

I could tell them about life outside of work and what was happening in the office day-to-day. I felt supported 100 percent of the time, and knew they would tackle anything for and with me.

In return, they got a whole heck of a lot out of me, and I loved it. It was a period of time when it didn’t feel like work. I was my whole self. That’s rare and special in the workplace.

Reflecting on the tough “hamster wheel” times, I realize that I didn’t always bring my whole self to work. I do know I was going through major life transitions and didn’t always feel connected to my work because of competing personal and professional priorities. When I felt like I couldn’t talk to my leader and be truthful about where I was at, the “hamster wheel” was in full effect.

This reflection has been critical because it has allowed me to take a step back and ask myself, “when I am working, what’s important?”

Here’s what I came up with:

I need incentive.

Yep, I said it. Based on where I am at in my life and what my needs are, I am motivated by knowing I’m working towards more (getting promoted, working with higher level leaders, or my responsibilities will shift to allow for more balance).

I need to know my leader will help me get to where I want to be.

Let me give you an example that also relates to incentives. When I wanted to be a recruiting manager at Amazon, I raised my hand to step in while a manager was on medical leave. Three months later, I was promoted because I had demonstrated my abilities, and I had the support from leaders in talent acquisition and in the business. Fast forward a few years after I had my son, and I took a hard look at my career and what I could manage based on my new title of “Mama.” I made the decision to go back to being an individual contributor to prioritize my family and wellbeing over my career. I spoke to my leader at each of these stages and was clear about what I wanted and needed because I took the time to know what was important to me.

I need to bring my whole self to work.

My family comes first; I need to be pick up my son if he gets sick, I live far from my family, and my husband has a demanding job. We both have aging parents and I need to know that I will be supported inside and outside of work based on what’s going on in life.

If I have that combination of key factors, it’s my golden ticket. Since learning that about myself, I’ve been able to get real on where I should be spending my time and energy while working.

I encourage you to do the same. Think about times where you felt you were “in your groove” versus times you couldn’t get off the “hamster wheel.”

Here’s an exercise that will help you break it down into smaller pieces.

In the end, knowing what’s important to you at work puts you back in the driver’s seat.